Let’s talk about death, baby.
(ok, and other stuff, too, like grief and mourning and love)
Hi. I'm Karen Austin.
I've spent a decade talking about the things most of us avoid. Pull up a chair (or a tombstone).
A Decade of Writing, Laughing at a Grim World, and Staying Real in the Dark
By Karen Austin
We live in a society that is trained from birth to brush death off of us. Right TF Now.
We’re supposed to hurry up, stuff our grief down so far we forget it, and get back to comfortably pretending we aren't all going to die. (Spoiler alert: We are. 😱)
I refuse to play along.
In 2016, I set an intention to change the way we talk about suicide. When my husband, Tracy, was diagnosed with terminal pancreatic cancer, I expanded that intention to death itself. Even the technology is terrified of it—spellcheck literally just tried to change "dying" to "doing."
Trace decided to use his cancer for giving, revived his attitude nametag schtick—"Hello, My Name Is"— and then died out loud and in public using #NameTagsforTracy. He lived full-throated and BIG. His funeral remains one of my favorite days ever because he told the world, "This is how I'm going out. Come with me."
He asked us to pay it forward. For ten years, I’ve kept that contract through my writing and community work.
Sometimes new people (and the occasional date) ask me why I still share these stories. Am I stuck? Am I not at peace? Those questions make me laugh out loud. I do this because death, if you invite it in for coffee and a couch conversation, is the ultimate teaching tool for living a real, beautiful life.
But a teaching tool is meant to help you grow, and I am actively moving forward. This space isn't a sanitized self-help checklist, nor is it a place to stay frozen in yesterday. This is my raw, 4 AM truth about honoring what was, while unabashedly stepping into what is next.
If you want to learn how to stand shoulder-to-shoulder in the dark—and crack a joke while stepping into the light—welcome.
You're not alone.
About Karen from
Jen Routte, Routte Law
So often I ask myself, “what would Karen Austin do?” I support people through death daily, whether it is planning for it or coping with it and wading through the mess that can be left after someone has passed. Getting to know you and Tracy, being a part of your journey, and learning to feel through grief has changed not only me personally, but how I support each of our clients through that process. Your influence has touched thousands of people through me alone.
Grief, loss, and pushing through painful journeys is part of the human condition. Our culture lost sight of it and pushed those “negative” experiences to the side. You merged everything together, the bitter and the sweet, the joy and the loss, the love and the pain. You are what our culture needs to remind us that we can have both, feel the feels and still get stuff done.”